Tag: working-out

When my husband and I were married in 2001, I was about 25 pounds heavier than I am now. Not quite at my heaviest weight (that would come a few years later), I had been steadily piling on the pounds since college, when I spent time eschewing meat but not Doritos.

Apparently, I was not alone in eating my way through the first few years of marriage. An interesting NYT article details the results of a recent study of 12,000 married women and men ages 18 to mid-forties. It was discovered that compared with when they were single, married men’s BMI rose 1.5 percent above what they would normally gain through age, and women’s BMI rose 2 percent.

In another study, it was found that those who were married or living together were much more likely to be obese than those who were dating.

Reasons for the weight gain in the “happily coupled” make complete sense to me. Socializing with other couples is often done over meals. Cuddling on the couch lends itself to often-unhealthy snack foods. And perhaps most significant is the comfort factor. The days of working the bar or club scene, of preparing yourself for hours beforehand, and of agonizing over every bit of exposed flesh are over. You’ve snagged your partner for a lifetime, and you no longer have to worry about maintaining a perfect physical appearance at all times because Mister or Miss Right could be examining packages of organic peas in the freezer section of Wegmans when you made the mistake of running in for milk wearing sweat pants and a ratty t-shirt.

However, I’m not so sure the so-called “love chub” is a good thing. Of course it’s great to feel confident that your partner will love you no matter what you look like, and physical appearance certainly should not become the focus of a couple’s life together, but I also think maintaining health and fitness for yourself as well as for your partner is also quite important.

I have no delusions that I still look like the 25-year-old I was when my husband and I got married. I have had three children and my body, while slimmer than my 25-year-old one, is still different than the one I had in graduate school. I have many more gray hairs, wrinkles in places I’d rather forget, and I’m more susceptible to running injuries than I ever was before.

But I work out 5-6 days a week. I’m training for a half-marathon. I eat relatively healthfully, and while I won’t be beating Jillian Michaels in an arm-wrestling competition any time soon, I like to think that my overall health and fitness is pretty good. And while I do this primarily for myself, I know my husband appreciates it too.

What do you think about married/serious relationship weight gain? Is “love chub” important to lose, or do you think of it as a small price to pay for a committed relationship?

Do you work out with your spouse or partner? Is exercise and a healthy lifestyle something that’s a shared part of your relationship, or something that you mainly pursue on your own?