I LOVE this topic (as we’ve discussed often). I absolutely have gone through the same things…lost a ton of weight before the wedding, kept it off until kids, put it back on with/post kids and now am in the process of losing it again and getting back to wedding weight. All of your reasons for the gain rang so true with me..the socializing over meals, the cuddles on the couch and the snacks etc. To answer your questions though, I absolutely think that the “love chub” is important to lose, which is one of the reasons I’ve taken on the challenge of losing the last 15 pounds and getting myself healthy again. Did it to be a role model to my girls, but also did it so my husband would be proud to have me as his wife (in a totally superficial/physical appearance while “comparing me” to other women sort of way). Did it so he would continue to find me attractive.

But, before it sounds like I did this primarily for other people, I really am doing it for myself. I am much happier, more confident and less cranky when I feel like I look good. I’m easier to get along with, more willing to be social because I don’t dread finding something to wear, and generally have a better attitude on life.

That said, my spouse and I have pretty different ways of looking at healthy living. I see it, he doesn’t really. In the 10 years we’ve been together, he’s put on weight and hasn’t quite found his own motivation to lose it. He blames it on a lack of time to exercise, blames it on my lack of treats in the house (something about his having to “get it elsewhere” because I don’t keep junk around), blames it on a whole host of things. It’s a very frustrating part of our relationship (for me) because where I have “seen the light” and want to be the best I can be for all of us, he isn’t there yet and I’m often found rolling my eyes at the portion sizes and the food choices. I wish we were tackling this journey together, but for now, it’s something that I pursue on my own (with the help of good friends) to feel better about myself and be a good role model for my daughters.

It doesn’t really apply to me … not directly anyhow. I was probably near my heaviest when we got married. It was directly after college, an incredibly stressful time for me. I was in engineering school and a bit in over my head, carrying 17 hour course loads and staying up ridiculous hours 6 nights a week just to get my work done. My husband-to-be was somewhat a factor in that he didn’t like to use the school’s athletic facilities and wouldn’t go with me – no excuse, but you probably know how it is when you’re in that first stage of a relationship.

After we were married and living away from both our families is when I really started getting serious about my health and fitness and started working out seriously. I’ve had my ups and downs since then and I’m sure I’ll always have to fight for my weight to be in the normal range (still headed back that direction after baby #2), but if anything, marriage has been better for me than being single or dating.

These days, my husband and I work out together frequently and we always support each other in our athletic goals and mostly in our healthy-eating goals. Fitness and health is something we share and something we’re committed to modeling for our kids, though of course, we have good days and bad days.

I definitely gained weight during the first few years of our marriage. My reasons were probably different from many (post-pageant-syndrome) but the weight piled on just the same.

One of the reasons I married Mike is that he isn’t obsessive about food and weight. He likes to eat good food and runs when he can, but he isn’t obsessive about it like I used to be. He’s balanced me a great deal. And for me, that was a good thing.

Great article, Kristi!

Amy-When I started running and losing weight, I did it for me, too. Like you, I was happier, liked the way I looked in clothes again, and overall, I had a better outlook on life too.

Also, are we married to the same man?

Jess-I fell (and still do fall) victim to stress eating. It’s very hard not to! I think it’s so great that you and your husband share a vision for a healthy lifestyle. It’s great for your marriage and a great example for your kids to see too. I wish my husband was more motivated.

Jamie-Thank you!

And your husband sounds like he has the right mindset. Indulging once and awhile is fine, and especially when you’re active and exercise regularly.